Bi-polar knitting

Hello all,

I am sorry for the lack of posts in the last two weeks. As in my previous mood scarf blog I explained that I have Bi-Polar disorder. My lack of posts recently has been because of this, as I am having a dip in mood. As a result my mood scarf has taken on a sad shade of navy blue with the odd line of grey. To be honest I may have added or lost a day as when I am depressed I loose track of time/days/week and even months!! 

Currently the scarf is looking like this:

It's also developed a weird shape which I have yet to decide if I should re-knit or keep as an expression of my mood. I guess now would be a good opportunity to explain a bit more about my disorder and how it affects me on a day to day bases. 

I have been diagnosed as Bi-Polar Type 1, mixed stated, rapid cycling. I Found this neat little illustration that sort of explains about it

I have had bipolar all my life, even at a young age I remember feeling angry and different, in my teens my disorder developed to a type 2 which meant in a cycle of every 6 months I would over-achieve then crash and go to bed for 2 weeks then the world would seem better. I make light of it but I did try and kill myself and ran 4 different jobs at same time plus through a teaspoons at my husband 😜

In 2013 I had my cheek son and all hell in my mind broke loose, I became very very very ill, I tried to end my life 3 times and was left a shell with no control of my mind. I spent six months in something called "home treatment" to stop me going into hospital. We are now in 2015 and I still have people visit me every 2 weeks, to check I am alive. 

I live my life day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute. 

But I love my family.

And I love KNITTING!!

Mood Scarf Knit Along

You might have noticed by at the start of my blog yesterday I mentioned that I DON'T do garments well I am going to buck that trend and do a scarf. "A scarf?" I hear you say, well yes I am, but as always with me its a bit unusual.

Last year I became aware of something called a mood scarf, the famous Jem Weston made one and it looked amazing when finally completed. the idea being that you track you daily mood over a space of  time by knitting two rows everyday for a year in a set colour for that mood.

Although this sound all good fun there is a serious reason for me doing it. I have very serious Bi-polar type one disorder, at times I am prisoner to my own mind and mood and have no control over my behavior or actions. I am meant to keep a mood diary which I track my mood on a scale of 1 to 10 on a little grid,  this is standard practice with people with by bipolar to help them understand their mood. I personally think they are boring and never ever do it, so this mood scarf will become my diary.

I have choose to use The Women's Institute Soft and Chunky , which is exclusive to Hobbycraft. It is an Acrylic/Merino Mix and is very smooth in texture.

I have chosen the colours of Grey, Teal and Navy, as I don't really want to be walking round with a rainbow scarf on at the end. I will also only be doing one row a day because I have chunky yarn and I might end up with a Dr Who scarf if not careful. 

                                      

The selected colours will mean 

1-4 Suicidal/depressed and low

5-6 Normal (boring)

7 - 10 Happy / Hyper-manic  and manic (nutty)

You might also be think why today, well today is my Birthday! I am 29 so if this lasts a  year I will be 30 on completion. I will keep you up to date with it as it progresses over the coming months.